Mother's Day

Historical origins

The idea of the single pastor's daughter working as a teacher "was based on the political goals of the women's movement at the time" (Kegel, 2008) and was motivated by the death of her mother. Instead of paying tribute to a "mother's image of noble simplicity, quiet greatness and tireless sacrifice" (ibid.), as the day was used as a propaganda tool by the National Socialists, it was intended to focus on the social and political role of women in society, "at the beginning of the last century, the mother offered herself as a socially legitimate figure of identification" (ibid.).

Commercialization and political appropriation

The meaning of the day has changed several times to this day. Anna Jarvis' gesture of handing out carnations of different colours (her mother's favourite flower) was taken up and commercialized by flower sellers. Jarvis took legal action against this commercialization. Because of her protests, she was imprisoned for a time, went to court and died impoverished in 1948 (ibid.).

In Germany, Mother's Day was introduced by Rudolf Knauer "in honor of 'the silent heroines of our people'" (ibid.). As a representative of the Association of German Flower Shop Owners, he probably acted less out of a motivation to strengthen the rights of mothers than out of his own commercial interests (ibid.). The day was quickly reinterpreted by conservative and nationalist groups who saw motherhood as a woman's vocation. Under National Socialism, the day was declared a public holiday for propaganda purposes in order to reward mothers with many children and thus reduce the role of women to motherhood and housework.

This only applied to women who conformed to the racist and nationalist ideology of National Socialism. In contrast, women with disabilities, for example, were forcibly sterilized and Jewish women were murdered (MDR Religion and Society, 2020).

Who or what is a mother?

But what exactly does motherhood mean, and who is socially or legally denied the status of mother to this day?

Motherhood is often defined biologically and a mother is understood to be a "female being who has given birth to a small being" (Fetscher, 2013). This definition reduces motherhood to a purely biological process and falls short when it comes to understanding human relationships.

The idealized mother could be used to capitalize on ideologies, both religiously and politically, right up to the biologistic Nazi Mother's Cross. [...] Developmental psychology has long since made it clear what children need above all: protection, time, social warmth, creative stimulation, relaxed attention. If someone is ready and mature enough for this, he or she can be a 'mother'. (Fetscher, 2013)

The image of the biological and self-sacrificing mother persists in many circles, but is often seen as outdated from today's perspective. A mother is not just the person who brings a child into the world. Mothers exist in many relationships between an adult, usually female-identifying person and a child whose upbringing this adult takes on.

Legal situation of queer families in Germany

It cannot be denied that non-parturient, trans* and queer mothers in Germany still have a much harder time when it comes to the question of motherhood. Legally, mothers are still only those who have given birth or live in a heterosexual relationship with a child.

The opening of marriage to same-sex couples in 2017 has not changed this (Opitz, 2020). This is because "when marriage for all was introduced, lesbian couples were not put on an equal footing with heterosexual couples when it came to co-motherhood [...]. Families in which the second parent is a trans man or has no gender entry or a diverse entry face similar problems" (Hofmann, 2021). For example, mothers in lesbian relationships who have not given birth to their child must adopt it as a stepchild, even if the couple is married (Opitz, 2020). In the same situation, husbands are automatically registered as fathers at the registry office; biological parentage plays no role here (Hofmann, 2021).

Until the end of a stepchild adoption process, the child has no protection by two parents, as is the case in heterosexual marriages. Accordingly, custody, maintenance and inheritance rights only apply to the biological parent. This puts the child and its parents at a disadvantage solely because of the gender of the parents (Hofmann, 2021). It also implies that heterosexual parent couples are better suited to raising a child than queer parents.

The "nodoption" initiative is fighting for a reform of parentage law and legal equality for rainbow families (Opitz, 2020).

About the "nodoption" initiative

Mother's Day in a social context

Against all these backgrounds, Mother's Day is the subject of controversial debate. By making its historical context and exclusionary mechanisms visible, the day has the potential to draw attention to a history of oppression and stigmatization of women. At the same time, it motivates people to engage with current political and social issues of the women's and queer movement and to stand up for them.

Status: May 2025

• Fetscher, C. (2013). Was ist eine Mutter? tagesspiegel.de. Last accessed 13.04.2021.
• Hofmann, I. (2021). Zwei lesbische Mütter wollen Klärung vor Gericht. tagesspiegel.de. Last accessed 14.04.2021.
• Kegel, S. (2008). Die Muttertagsmaschinerie. faz.net. Last accessed 13.04.2021.
• MDR Religion und Gesellschaft (2020). Wie die ‚Mutter des Muttertages‘ Frauen aus dem Lockdown holen wollte. mdr.de. Last accessed 14.04.2021.
• Opitz, N. (2020). Queere Mütter klagen. taz.de. Last accessed 14.04.2021.